It sometimes feels like autopilot is the only option.
In my view, now that I am on the other side of young, I can see that keeping on is a really big thing in life. It seems like there is nothing worth going toward, but that is because you can't see it yet. When I was younger, and there wasn't a choice about these things, I just kept going because there wasn't anyone else to lean on. I suppose those hard years make the new challenges seem easier.
I have been busy, not sleeping all day. :-) All the mundane things that need to be done just don't seem so earthshaking and productive, they don't equal a ton of money so what value do they have? It seems like they don't have value, but they add up and contribute to the total package. Where would we be if we never ate, never did dishes or cleaned the kitchen, never washed our clothes, never swept floors, never figured out how to keep records, never created a goal, never worked out a plan to reach that goal, never read a book, a magazine, a brochure, and all those little things that add to our life and mind and meaning?
When I can't find the inspiration I need, I start doing all those little things that take time but aren't a finished product. Like cutting out the pieces I will need later, sorting colors, reorganizing, looking for supplies, searching for ideas. Sometimes I just start doing something in the direction I am trying to go, like drawing or painting things that don't mean anything just to start moving in the direction of a finished painting, or writing a letter when other words can't be found.
There is always something that needs to be done....
- I am looking for a name for my own products.
- I am trying to design a label for my personal products.
- I need to separate my website into personal sales and Working Together sales.
- I am searching for shelves to organize my supplies so I can actually use them.
- I am praying for a larger space, lots of equipment, sales, time to create...
- I am designing craft kits.
- I am looking for art topics that will keep me interested and are equal to my talent and goals.
- I am learning about social media, networking, keeping track of details, what matters when something is sold or purchased, what products are worth the time and effort, how to find money to do these things...
- I search for tools, and equipment, and instructions.
- I need delivery options, or money for alternatives.
- I am trying to save money and buy only what I need.
- I need a commercial kitchen, money for supplies, time to develop my recipes.
- I want a garage with a small kiln for small clay and glass projects.
- A larger kiln and a potter's wheel for kitchen creations.
- Tools and equipment for each activity.
- Real silver and a way to make it into my own designs.
- A better electric sewing machine and a non-electric treadle machine.
- New computers and a smartphone that will take orders and payments.
- More advertising,
- To pay my past debts and build a better future.
- Freedom, peace, safety, fellowship...
- and lots more.
Today I am planning to focus on art and clay... and wait for another of my supplies orders... as soon as I finish this and my other routine tasks.
I can see how online living would work as a shut-in... and I am trying to define what kind of life I want to have in my "old age." How much do I want to stay home, how much time do I want to devote to my craft projects? How will I protect my health and sanity and personal space? How can I afford the life I want to have?
These quests all take time, and will have to be planned to some degree. When I don't have the inspiration to make things to sell, I try to find the answers to all these other questions.